Ubi bene, ibi patria




 Around 6 years ago, a friend of mine and I were discussing the current state of our local society. He then asked me one simple question: 

Let say your child does something elementary and obviously wrong, but in our society that is the preferred way and even encouraged by peers. What shall be your approach to address this problem? Would you advice your child on what is right, or what is considered normal in this society, knowing those two are completely opposite?

I have to admit he left me with a great conundrum in mind. At that point I consoled myself that I will be ready by the time I'm required to make that choice. I was wrong, found myself on the spot several times in the past 6 years. I always went with a Solomonic solution, advising my children to do what needs to be done to fit in, but reason inside what is right and wrong. 

I recently discovered that this approach makes my children cynical and apathetic. They despise their peers for being ignorant, knowing what they do is wrong, but don't object due to peer pressure and fear of rejection, so they despise them secretly and avoid them. Ergo losing friends for no apparent reasons.

After this realization I remembered that unwillingly I have been doing the same thing, come to think of it, my father advised me the same way, he always said: "I know what's happening is wrong, and I know how it suppose to be, but you do not have the power to change anything anyways. Instead just go with the flow, don't object, otherwise you will be the black sheep!" Back then this statement was so upsetting to me that I swore I would not relay this way of thinking to my children, yet here I am.

My motive is the same as my fathers, we both want to protect our children from ridicule and rejection. A problem woven deeply in society is hard to handle singlehanded, I tried, believe me. 

The difference this time: I can handle the truth. Faced with inability to change anything in this one, I found another society that matches my values and virtues. This time around, I am cutting the rotten chain of command. My children will be free from apathy and helplessness! 

P.S. The title is Latin, it translates to: "Homeland is where it (life) is good"

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